great song, great video

citizen cope.. this song is great and the video was created by Artur Dimke in germany using Adobe after effects 6.0.  Typography and words, amazing enough.  (click the pic to be re-directed to the video on youtube)

i heart nyc, curry chocolate bar & brioche french toast (and such)

So, definite lack of blogging due to attending the Textile & Gift Trade Show at Javits all last week and then back to AC for a great weekend at the shore.  Wasn’t in the kitchen too much. 

But I went to a couple of old favorite places while in the city and 2 new favs that I’ll share.  

Started the show on sunday.. but around 2pm when I was debating what over-priced lunch at the center to force down,.. I knew it was gorgeous-gorgeous out and it was sunday! (my favorite downtown NYC day of the week).. so, instead I bolted and headed to my favorite part of the city.. Soho. ahhhh.

Where I had an amazing late sunday brunch at Balthazar.  I actually took a picture of my plate, because it was so delish and I wanted to show it on my blog.. but honestly, it looks like a train wreck.  Really not pretty.   (Besides that and the fact that my camera is out for repair.. the iphone is just not cutting it with the camera.. But I loves me iphone.. don’t get me wrong!)  Well, what I had was the Belladonna(? might be bellisimo..) eggs.. which is poached eggs on polenta abed sauted spinach & onions, then topped with a thick slab of smoked bacon & large shaving of parmesan.  Honestly, I am never let down at Balthazar.. it was amazing.  Of course with a the best toast in town, a mimosa and good french coffee.. I was in brunch heaven.  Grabbed a couple of my fav Madeline cookies to go from the bakery which is connected.. to enjoy with coffee the next day, if they last that long! 

Vosges Haut-Chocolat in Soho.  I wanted to visit this shop as months ago I watched Katrina Speak at Taste3 conference this year.  She really impressed me and showed a lot of passion for what she does.  I couldn’t wait to try her product.  You can watch her speak here, which is very inspiring.  They let you sample the bar that started it all.. Naga Bar.  Deep milk chocolate with sweet Indian curry powder & coconut flakes.  Which I loved and of course bought along with the Woolloomooloo Bar, which has roasted & salted macadamia nuts, indonesian coconut & hemp seeds.  I don’t really love milk chocolate, so I was skeptical.. but oddly enough, when I opened the Naga bar later.. it’s amazingly addicting the curry flavor and chocolate.. I ate 1/2 the bar in one sitting.   Here's a link to have some delivered.  Just do it.  You will thank me! Vosges Naga Chocolate Bar, 3-Ounce Bars (Pack of 4)

Monday night after the show... grabbed a cab and headed to Bryant park to watch Casablanca.. 

but even arriving an hour and half before start time.. it was a crazy, not my scene, crowded in the humid-sticky heat.  Taxi!!  with the a/c on I head downtown to Graffiti Food & Wine Bar that I read that just was opening on 10th st. btwn 1st & 2nd.  I wanted to go here, as more chill downtown, a cool glass of wine and a/c sounded perfect after the sweaty affair searching for a chair at the park. Another reason it’s on my hit list... the chef used to be at Jean Georges, an old fav.   And  it is said that the bathrooms are outfitted with spray cans and markers!  C’mon.. I love that.  But sad to say, I got dropped off and not open yet. damn!  Taxi!!

Decided to head to a place I know opened end of July and had heard rav reviews about.   Wakiya at the Gramercy Park Hotel,  backed and run by Nobu and his team (I think DeNiro is in there somewhere)..  and as expected, it really is an amazing chinese restaurant.  The reviews were right.  Friendly bar staff.. great menu and drink list. (I must say the decor photographs way better than it is in person, a bit too dark for my taste.. but nice feel. I think the lighting is wrong.)  I had a glass of white wine, as I am not a mixed drink-they-always-seem-too-fruity-and-sweet kinda girl and the bang bang chicken.  Both very good, enjoying the place waay too much...  I called Erika and she joined me at the bar.  E ordered the Mango martini.. with a floating star fruit and after one sip, I quickly switched over.  V. yummy and not too sweet.  A handsome guy at the bar sent over a lobster appetizer which was really good.  Said that everyone sends pretty girls drinks.  Nice. We loved it. :) Had more drinks (!) at the GPH bar, right across the lobby and discovered a new fav drink.. Pink 75.  Have to figure out what was in that!  We laughed a lot and then got in a final cab, went home and passed out, great nite. 

Wednesday night went to Bond St. for drinks and sushi.  I had been there before for drinks, but a few years ago.  Keep reading about it everywhere.. so, wanted to go again.  Ok, I know.. sushi is sushi.. lots of places make it great.. but wait, this was amazing.  Different and just remarkable.  Totally worth the cab ride downtown.   First off, cute bartender, Warren, who made it very enjoyable.. even creating a drink with Lillet & vodka for me while E enjoyed a Lychee martini off the menu.  Replacing her lychee fruit every time they disappeared, which was often! ;)  Only complaint,.. the drinks are too damn small.  I know, showing my lush side, again.  Shrimp tempura roll with a curry aoili style sauce, that was spectacular.  Spicy Tuna, Yellowtail and softshell crab rolls.. all surprisingly fresh & new.  Loved it!  Bond St. 6 Bond St. near Lafayette.  I have a feeling I will crave this sushi. 

What else noteworthy besides the show... bought a great brioche on 87th at a great bakery that I can’t remember the name of.. damn!  Between 1st and 2nd.. in the middle of the block.  Near M. Rohr’s tea and coffee shop where I got a bag of beans, their house blend.  The brioche became french toast of course!  Here’s my recipe for that. 

brioche french toast

Brioche Bread, sliced about an inch thick

2 eggs

1 cup of milk

1/2 t. vanilla extract

squeeze of 1 orange

1 t. finely grated orange zest (optional)

splash of grand marnier (optional)

1 T. sugar

Cinnamon

butter & canola oil for skillet

In a shallow bowl, whisk together eggs & milk.  Add vanilla, oj, grand marnier and sugar, blending well.  Sprinkle custard mixture with a good bit of cinnamon.  

Heat a griddle or skillet till hot.  add a little oil with butter, just enough to keep the toast from sticking. (The oil allows the butter not to burn at a higher heat)

Poach brioche slices, one or two at a time, flipping till soaked. (1-2 minutes) 

Place on skillet, flipping once when toasty brown on each side.  add more cinnamon to the custard before soaking a new slice of brioche.

Serve immediately dusted with powder sugar and with maple syrup. 

Try it next time you are craving french toast.  The eggy bread was made for soaking up the rich custard.  The orange zest says optional, but I think not.  It makes it.. the lemony-ness with the sweet syrup.. such a delish comboi!!

    

         

july birthday party

 the birthday girl.  pic taken off my balcony at sunset..

The notorious birthday celebration.. some food to start at my place.. (not too much as I am always accused of over doing it) then off to the Foundation Room for dancing..

the menu..
Spinach, artichoke & crab dip
Black Bean Hummus w/ plantain chips

Grilled Pizzas (with a variety of topping choices)
Mini Burgers
Orzo w/ Clams in white wine sauce

Brownies with snickers (no recipe.. Ghirardelli Dark choc mix & add chopped up snickers bars.. toss in a T flour before adding so they don’t sink to the bottom)
Chocolate covered almond cookies
Birthday “cake batter” ice cream cake (from coldstone)

Cherry “Mojitos” 
White Sangria w/ peaches

the recipes..

Orzo w/ Clams in white wine sauce                          Serves 6-8
  4 T Olive Oil
  4 garlic cloves, minced
  1 large Red onion, diced
  1 t  crushed red pepper flakes
  1.5 cups tomato, de-pulped & chopped (reserve 3/4 cup for later)
  1 cup white wine
  2 cups organic vegetable or chicken stock (low sodium)
  6 doz. littleneck clams, scrubbed* and soaked
  1 cup arugula, roughly chopped
  handful of chopped fresh parsley & basil
  1 lb orzo pasta

*Tip to clean clams, scrub the outside well and place in a sink full of luke warm water with a 1/2 cup of cornstarch.  Let sit in water for 1/2.  Rinse. (the clams ingest the cs and it causes them to spit out any sand inside.  or so I was told.)

In a pot, bring salted water to boil for orzo.

Meanwhile, in a large pot, skillet.. saute garlic and onion till transparent.  Add pepper, 3/4 c of tomatoes, white wine, stock and clams.  cover.  Clams are done when the shells open.  (at this point, I remove 1/2 of the clams out of their shells and drop into broth.. leave the rest in their open shells for visual appeal.)

Add in arugula, remainder of the tomatoes, herbs and orzo when done.

Drizzle with Extra V Olive oil.  Offer with grated parmesan.  Serve in deep bowls with a crusty baguette drizzled with olive oil, sprinkled with parmesan & parsley and toasted.
 
 


Grilled Pizzas  (this is so easy to do.. there are so many options which is why this “recipe” is long.  It is more like a “how to” than a recipe. After you make it once, you won’t need to look at this again.)

  1-2 balls of pizza dough  (Ask your fav pizza place for this, they will usually be happy to hand over the raw dough for a buck or 2) 

  Once you bring the dough home.  Place each ball in a generously olive oiled bowl and let rise in the warmth of the kitchen to about double in size.  If it doesn’t completely double, no worries.. the pizza still taste great. 

  Extra V Olive oil, for brushing  (you can warm a bit and set aside with a clove or 2 of garlic for brushing on pizza after grilling)
For toppings..
  fresh buffalo mozzarella, sliced or shredded
    (To shred a soft cheese like fresh mozz, place the ball in the freezer for 20 min.                   then it is much easier to shred!)
  Fresh garlicky tomatoes
    (I always saute finely chopped garlic in a saute pan with a little olive oil... so, it doesn’t have that “bite”.  For the tomatoes, I use plum tomatoes that I halve, scooping out the pulp and then chop and let drain for 20 min in a mesh sieve. Once drained, add the garlic with the olive oil.)
fresh basil 
caramelized onions & mushrooms
grilled chicken, sliced
goat cheese, crumbled
monterey jack
arugula
cilantro
pepperoni
prosciutto di parma
Hot Italian sausage, cooked & chopped
tomato sauce
  (& whatever else you want.. be creative! Just NOTE that the toppings are only on the grill for about 3 minutes.. so, it’s better to use cooked or caramelized items.  Ie., raw mushrooms would just dry out and shrivel.  ew. Not attractive.  Better to semi cook before placing on the pizza)

Heat grill to high.  (make sure it’s brushed clean!) 

Depending on your grill size, halve or quarter the dough.  (I quarter, as my grill is apartment size and oblong.. my pizza’s are never round.. but oblong about 16” long and 4-5 inches wide.  You don’t want the dough to be directly on the hot spot of your grill) 
In a round motion from the center out, start spinning the dough, gently stretching.  Think, pizza makers.  You really can’t mess up.  Try to get it thin, but be careful not to make a hole in it.  If it is too thick, it needs to cook longer and might be burned on the surface to cook completely inside.
Making sure the dough is well olive oiled.. place on grill. Brush the top with oil, so it’s ready to flip.  Once the bottom is the colour you want and there are nice grill marks, flip it over. 
Add toppings quickly.  About 3-7 min. depending on your grill heat, check the bottom & if cheese is melted.. it should be done. 
Brush the edge of the crust with olive oil and sprinkle with parmesan.
Remove and slice up!

My favorite combos...
   Margarita (Fresh tomato, mozzarella & basil)
   Goat cheese, Grilled chicken & sliced pears (add the pears after the grill)
   Prosciutto & Goat cheese w/ arugula (add the arugula after the grill)

Spinach, artichoke & crab dip
 1 bag of organic baby spinach, roughly chopped (wash & remove any hard stems, let dry)

  2 T  Butter
  2 T flour
  1/4 t sea salt
  1 cup half and half
  8 oz. cream cheese, softened
  8 oz. shredded Monterey Jack
2 t garlic powder
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan
1 T worcestershire sauce
1/2 t cayenne pepper
1/4 t white pepper
2 cans (13 oz) Artichoke Hearts, drained, rinsed & chopped
1 can prepared crab meat, drained and flaked if necessary

In Large saute pan over low heat melt the butter.  Whisk in flour and season with salt.  Whisking quickly until flour turns into a thick paste, then slowly add the half and half.  Whisking constantly till it thickens. 

Add cream cheese, carefully stir till combined then add Monterey Jack.  Stirring constantly till completely melted.  Stir in garlic powder, grated parmesan, W sauce and peppers.
Fold in artichokes and spinach.   Once spinach is wilted, fold in crab meat. 
Note!!Check for seasoning NOW!..  Depending on your ingredients, you may need to add Salt, ground pepper, dash of hot sauce or squeeze of lemon to awaken flavors.  

Place in a shallow baking dish.   Sprinkle with parmesan.  Bake till hot, 10-12 min.

Serve with thinly sliced baguette.

Note: Can be made ahead of time, like the morning of.  Complete all steps and place in baking dish & heat before serving.   Allow time for dish to come to room temperature, if glass and bake at 350 for 20 min. or until hot.

 
White Sangria w/ peaches
  2 Bottles of good chardonnay
  1 Bottle of Reisling
  1/2 cup peach schnapps
  1 cup of cointreau or triple sec
  juice of one lime
 
  4-5 freestone peaches, sliced
  1-2 limes sliced
  1-2 cups of blueberries
  1-2 cups of strawberries, cut in 1/2 (optional)
 
  2 bottles club soda

Add all ingredients, except club soda, in a large, clear pitcher or vase (ladling works best, anyhow)  At this point, taste if sweet enough.  (This depends on the wine you choose.  I like to add reisling, which I don’t care for by itself as it is too sweet, but it works well here as it sweetens the sangria and I usually don’t have to add any extra sugar.)   If it needs sweetening, add some sugar or even apple juice is a good natural sweetener.. just don’t add too much the apple will overpower. 
Refrigerate for at least and hour.
When ready to serve, top with club soda and ladle into balloon wine glasses.



Martha’s Amazing Cherry “Mojitos”   Martha Stewart
  2 cups simple syrup
      juice of 9 limes
      3 pounds dark cherries, such as Bing or Burlat, pitted
      1 cup of plain good quality vodka
     1.25 cups Three Olives Cherry Vodka
     1 (750 ml) bottle sparkling water

To make simple syrup.. (it’s a good idea to make extra & keep in fridge to sweeten iced drinks)  Bring at least 1.25 cups of sugar and equal amount of water (this makes 2 cups) to a boil in small saucepan.  Stir until sugar is completely dissolved.  Set aside to cool.
In a non-reactive bowl, place lime juice and 2/3 of the cherries, halved and the rest whole.  Stir in simple syrup.  Refrigerate at least one hour or up to overnite.
Ready to serve, place in Large clear pitcher or Vase and mix in Vodkas. 
Fill glasses with ice, ladle in a bit of cherry mix and top with sparkling water.  Garnish with mint sprig. 

artisan goat cheese

I  purchased a block of herb goat cheese the other day when I visited the Cheese Board in Linwood.  A great little shop with delicious sandwiches and great cheese selection.  The shop just re-opened after months of rebuilding due to a fire last year.  I really missed it while it was closed.  There are certain things you come to depend on when you live in a small area, like south jersey.  

The cheese is called Le Carre du Berry made by P. Jaquin from La Vernelle France.  You can smell the herbs d’provence through the plastic wrap.  Really, really good.  Very creamy but able to crumble.. delicious on crackers by itself served with wine and grapes.

So, tonight I was looking to make something quick and delish for dinner, I grabbed the cheese and a few other ingredients for a quick pasta dish.

  The pancetta I chose is very nice, it’s from an unbelievable store that lets you sample everything.  And I mean everything.  Di Bruno Bros. in Philly at the Italian Market.  You can visit their great website, but you miss out on the bunch of cute guys behind the counter, offering up a taste of anything you desire.  Great shopping experience.   Back to the pancetta.  La Quercia Pancetta from Iowa.. yea, you read that correct.  The maker studied in Parma, so it’s made in the old world style.   This is a catch-all recipe.  Throw in what you have that's fresh or clean out the fridge... tonight the asparagus were picked, the sundried tomatoes to add a sweet note to balance the tart goat cheese and the pancetta crisp.. make the perfect bite ending with a crispy, salty crunch.  

Penne w/ Asparagus, Goat Cheese & Pancetta

Semolina Penne Pasta

1/2 c. La Quercia Pancetta, cut into 1/4 inch strips or diced

Asparagus Spears, cut in half or thirds 

Garlic, chopped (not too small or it will burn)

tomatoes, roughly chopped

sundried tomatoes, chopped

parsley, chopped

goat cheese, crumbled

   S + P

   red pepper flakes

  

Bring a pot of salted water to boil for the pasta.  In the meantime,  heat a saute pan over high heat.  Add in the pancetta, frying till almost crispy.  Drain on paper toweling (or recycle paper bags) reserving for later.  

Add in the bottom thicker part of the asparagus and cook 1 minute before adding in the rest.  Depending on thickness of the spears... Cook till just crisp-tender.  Lower heat and add garlic to pan, cook 1 minute.  (You want it cooked but if it turns brown, it gets bitter.  so watch!)

Add cooked penne to the saute pan (undercooked at al dente.. it will finish cooking in the saute pan).   Add a ladle full of pasta cooking water.   Stir and let simmer on low, allowing pasta to finish cooking.  Fold in tomatoes,  parsley, cracked pepper, red pepper flakes and sundried tomatoes.  Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil, add crumbled goat cheese and pancetta bits.  Taste for seasoning.   Always taste for seasoning.  

the thin spring asparagus getting steamy...

(keep it crisp fresh)

  

                                                                           toss in the penne pasta

  the messy-looking, but yummy tasting finished product

eyes of suffering vs. heart of gratitude

I stumbled upon this article one night when I was trying to deal with issues of forgiveness and not wanting to become bitter after a bad break-up.  It’s an awakening and sent for the moment for me.  Funny how that happens. 



Heal your heart by finding gratitude for the time you spent with your former spouse/partner and extended family. Here's how..

WHENEVER we've been betrayed or disappointed, it's natural to hold on to our pain as a defense mechanism. The voice of anger and hurt always tells us to watch out and be careful. Our pain hardens our hearts and clouds our vision, blinding us to the gifts we have received from our marriage and our divorce. But we have the freedom to go beyond our past and beyond our negative feelings. We have the power to choose to view our breakup either through the eyes of suffering or with a heart of gratitude.

The power in choosing forgiveness

At this point you may not feel like you are quite ready to be grateful. But as long as you deny the lessons and gifts that your partner has been trying to give you, you continue to be tied to the very thing you want to break free from. Even though you think your anger, hurt, disappointment, and resentment are well deserved, unless you are prepared to carry this person on your back everywhere you go for the rest of your life, you may want to consider forgiveness as the only solution to becoming a whole, complete, free person.

When I first began to understand how my resentments bound me to the people I most disliked, I found it almost comical. My intention had been to use my anger to protect myself from being hurt again by those persons who had hurt me before. My bruised ego wanted to create distance between me and my enemies, yet instead of taking something away from them, I was giving them my most valuable asset. I was giving them my energy as well as complete power over my emotional well-being. Simply the mention of my enemy's name or a reference to a similar story would set me off. In an instant the person I resented had the power to join me wherever I was.

We belong to anything we are linked to in a negative way, and the negative implications of our hate are astounding. Our old resentments drive all our relationships. They tell us how close we can get to others and how thick the walls need to be to maintain emotional safety. They inform our daily behaviors, telling us how many risks we can take. And they build an invisible fence of protection around our hearts. This kind of safety, however, is an illusion. We are never truly safe from hurt and pain, which is simply a part of life, of living and growing. My ex-husband said it beautifully the other day: "There is no change without loss."

Choosing forgiveness is a necessity for good emotional and mental health, for like attracts like. If you choose to come from a place of gratitude and forgiveness, you begin to naturally draw others in who reflect that back to you. If your heart is filled with love and compassion, you continually elicit that love and compassion from others. Similarly, if your mind is full of resentment and judgment, you attract others who are resentful and judgmental or who magnify your emotional pain.

Receiving the gifts of your relationship

Only you can choose to receive the gifts of your marriage/relationship. Otherwise, they remain unopened and unused. Looking at your life through a lens of gratitude allows you to receive the gifts and learn the lessons from your time with your mate. The lens of gratitude is always there. It may need to be dusted off, but if you want to, you can choose to look through it at any time. Finding and embracing your relationship gifts allows you to cut all the karmic cords that link you to your partner in a negative way. Then you can choose to go on with your life.

The experience of karma is having our attention in the present impinged upon by experiences from our past. That is why it is imperative that we complete and heal all of our relationships. Until we embrace the gifts we received from our relationships, the karmic link to that relationship remains intact. Burdened with the pain of our past, we continue to drag our unhealed emotional issues with us wherever we go. Our past drains the vitality out of our future relationships. What's more, our past is a constant reminder of our fears and all our pain. Holding on to our past is a sure recipe for re-creating similar situations until we learn the lessons that our partners have been trying to teach us.

Often I hear, "I've learned the lesson, but I'm not glad it happened." I would suggest that if you feel this way, you have not really received the gifts and embraced the lessons of your relationship. When we have truly learned the lessons taught to us by our former mate, we appreciate and value the experience no matter how difficult it has been. We integrate the experiences and use them as a resource to make ourselves better people. I guarantee that if you feel really good about who you are, you will appreciate everyone who has added to the recipe that made you. Honoring your experiences instead of dwelling on the pain fosters gratitude and rewards you with the joyous state of emotional freedom.

The gifts are revealed through our acknowledgment of what we have received from our relationship, including things we've learned from our mate. During my marriage I learned and experienced at least 100 things that have contributed to my life. When I breathe them in and honor my life by honoring my experiences, I bask in the joy of emotional freedom. My list of the gifts of my marriage looks like this:

   1. 
      I have the child I always wanted.
   2.
      I moved to beautiful La Jolla, California.
   3.
      I get to be a parent to Beau.
   4.
      My sister moved to La Jolla to be close to us.
   5.
      I began working with Deepak Chopra.
   6.
      I developed the Shadow Process.
   7.
      My ex-husband paid off my school loans.
   8.
      I was able to experience having a family of my own.
   9.
      My parents moved to La Jolla to be near Arielle, Beau, and me.
  10.
      I received enough money to stay home and write my first book.
  11.
      I had the privilege of being the daughter-in-law of Bernice and Marty.
  12.
      I've learned how to look at life through the eyes of another.
  13.
      I learned that you don't have to go to Harvard to be brilliant.
  14.
      I've learned how to share and include others in my life even if I disagree with them.
  15.
      I've become more thoughtful in my words.
  16.
      I received the inspiration for my second book.
  17.
      I've learned to not verbalize every thought I might be having.
  18.
      I've had the profound experience of seeing how others change as I change.
  19.
      I learned that I could make it on my own with a child.
  20.
      I'm learning how to be a good mother.
  21.
      I've learned that co-parenting can be a joy.
  22.
      I've learned that in conflict I need to keep the attention on myself.
  23.
      I had the wedding I always dreamed of.
  24.
      I've learned to ask for what I need.

How can I resent a man who has given me so many gifts? The gift of my son alone is reason enough to honor Dan for the rest of my life. Listing the gifts allowed me to see all that I had gained through my entire experience. At a time when I could see only pain and disappointment, looking for the good, the gifts, and the lessons opened me up to a place of authentic appreciation for my partner. It gave me a choice of realities in which to live. I could choose to remain in the painful reality of what didn't work, or I could choose to celebrate in the joyful world of gratitude.

Choice gives us freedom. It gives us the miraculous ability to live the life we desire rather than one that has just landed on top of us. Living a life in which we can choose how we ultimately feel about every person, event, and situation is miraculous. When we make empowering choices, we live in the wonderment of being a human being. Choice enables us to experience the ease of independence and the grace of loving who we are. As long as we are victims of other people's behavior, we have no choice. Victimization prevents us from experiencing the gifts. And, if we don't learn the lessons we are presented with, we will repeat them. Allow me to repeat this: if we don't learn the lessons we are presented with, we will repeat them.

Gratitude is a choice

As I was growing up, my heart never knew gratitude. I felt entitled to what I had and always wanted more. My discontent showed up in every area of my life. No matter what gifts I received, they were always less than adequate. I believed that I was owed a better hand. I can honestly say that most of my problems stemmed from my inability to appreciate what I had. It never occurred to me that I could change my life by changing my attitude, that my unhappiness stemmed from my discontent, and that my discontent stemmed from my belief that I was entitled to a better everything. Having the wrong attitude drove me to search and find the dark side of life.
One day someone suggested to me that until I developed "an attitude of gratitude." This statement struck deep at my core because I feared living a life without meaning, a life that made no difference. Then the revelation came that caused me to shift the lens I was looking through. I found out that gratitude is a choice, something that can be acquired through practice. The more I practiced, the easier it became. Then, instead of having to work constantly at viewing my world through gracious eyes, over time it became a more natural reality.

Gratitude is the gift of an open heart. It is a divine state of being that comes from the great wisdom and understanding that everything is as it should be. Gratitude comes when you look at all that you have instead of dwelling on what you don't have. Gratitude is a self-generated love tool you can give yourself every day. When you choose to live a spiritual life, you come to understand that everything you receive is a gift.

Taking the high road

We are brought up in the illusion that our lives will turn out the way we want. We live with the dream that this person, this job, this financial agreement will make our lives better. Most of us are looking to have our emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual needs met by this one person whom we have deemed special. It's often an impossible task for those given the giant responsibility of making us happy. But no matter how many times we have been disillusioned in love, we will search until we find someone who appears to be our savior, who will fulfill our expectations. When our dreams are washed away once again in a pool of disappointment, we get bitter, angry, and resentful. Someone has to pay the price for this terrible lie we were told. When our partners fail to fulfill our expectations and the relationship falls apart, it is of course, their fault. Some of us refuse to see the wall of expectations that block us from seeing our other options.

Having awareness of our other choices is an extraordinary gift. But it comes with a price. The more awareness we have, the more difficult it is to lie to ourselves. When we don't take ownership of our wisdom, all the energy has to go somewhere, so it goes to the only place it knows – back into ourselves. If we fail to use the knowledge of our new insights to make choices to empower our lives, this knowledge turns on us, driving us deeper into our darkness. If you insist on denying responsibility for your current reality, you will probably go deeper into denial, creating more justifications and rationalizations. You are unconsciously driven to create more drama to prove that your circumstances are different and beyond your control. You create a righteous reason why you need to maintain your battle, and it always seems to you that you are right and your enemy is wrong. You may even tell yourself that you have to battle to take care of yourself. Or better yet, maybe you say it's your karma, your mission, to teach your opponent a lesson. But maybe instead of teaching the lesson you would be better off learning the lesson that got you where you are today.

Healing action steps

   1.
      Think back over the years of your relationship, list all the gifts you received from your ex-partner. Reflect on the things you have learned about yourself as a result of being with him or her. What people and hobbies are in your life now that weren't there before you met? What weaknesses of your ex-partner have you had to compensate for? How has this helped to build your character? Be thoughtful and honest, and spend some time compiling your list. Making your relationship gift list will transform your negative feelings into positive ones.
   2.
      List all the things in your life for which you are grateful.
   3.
      Each day acknowledge yourself for at least ten things you have done that you are proud of. Appreciate yourself for the little things that add up over time – getting out of bed, exercising, eating only one hot fudge sundae. . . . Do this in writing and out loud. Don't wait for a big accomplishment, like stopping smoking, to acknowledge yourself for your progress.

Cabinet re-do

How to make your cheap plywood cabinets look like expensive exotic, Brazilian wood. 

This is a super satisfying and quick project that takes more balls than talent.  It might seem scary to paint something so prominent that hangs on a wall.. but why not?  It's only paint.. and you can always paint over it.  
These cabinets are in a rental kitchen, where the cabinets were cheap and nothing special.  These were unfinished and really needing some style. Style on the cheap. 
Start with a clean surface and tack cloth for any bits.  Next paint on a primer, I love Zissner which you can get at Lowes or any good paint store.  
Next begin painting your cabinet a warm rich jacobean stain or paint.  Paint the whole cabinet, let dry for a bit but not completely.  
Next using acrylic accent paint, yes those small squeeze bottles you get at the craft store.. you don't need much.  If your cabinet is deep brown.. you will want a burgandy, black and a copper for the look here. That's it. 
Here's the learning curve... Start painting the inside of the cabinet door 1st.  Here you will get the feel for it and see what it takes to make it work.  This is a project that you have to just take a step and do it.. all about feel. Inside will give you practice without being the face and needs to be done anyway for this to be believable.  Now I painted the edge of the cabinet shell but only painted the inside with a solid colour, no need to waste paint or time there.  I mean, they are usually filled anyway. 
Using a sponge brush with paint strokes vertical, to mimick the grain in wood... brush up and down with the black.  Next use a towel and wipe off a bit or shall I say into a bit.  Which is really what you are doing here.  You are blending to create a smudging of paint layer that looks like brazilian wood. Next add a little copper paint with restrain.. smudging into the black.  You do not want to see metallic, but what you do want to see is some warmth or glow.  Which is what will happen here, when you use restraint.  If it doesn't look right, rub it mostly off and layer again.  
Don't be afraid.  Stand back and look.. the main thing is to keep the strokes vertical and looking like wood.  

You can see on the plywood cabinet that is above the range that you need to take the brush stroke right off the edge. (photo below)   

After all is said and done, you can either seal with a polyurethane.  I prefer a satin finish.  The walls in this space were done using the same paint.. It was a small galley kitchen with hardle any wall space, so it was not much of an expense.  The paint used was an oyster metallic and gold.  It really achieves a Tuscan-warm look with a bit of luxe.  You can't really see that in these photos.. and it's not finished here.  But in the end and in person the shimmer is so warm and looks really expensive.  Nice finish for a crappy rental kitchen.